How To Silence Your Inner Critic And Build Your Confidence

 

Have you ever come up with an exciting idea and just before you make the first move you feel as if your mind has been bombarded with every negative thoughts that could possibly exist, depleting your confidence?

From the fear of failure, to the thoughts of public shame, every single conceivable negative thoughts grips your heart.

Depending on what you do with your inner critic, the voice could get louder or the voice could get softer. It could actually get so soft that you can barely hear it.

Many people fail to accomplish their dreams because they allowed the voice of their inner critic to convince them not to go ahead. I have had so many times when I need to take a step and feel the fear but still take the first step anyway.

I remember the first year I ever hosted a summit. I was travelling to Europe and during the flight and the idea crossed my mind to host a conference bringing thought leaders together for thought-provoking conversation on shaping a better food system.

I quickly dismissed the thought almost immediately. However, as much as I dismissed this idea, it kept coming back.

Then, I told myself, I will reach out to an individual (a prospective speaker), and invited her. It was a baby step, and a step with minimal repercussions.  I was still on my Europe trip when I reached out to this individual, she replied immediately with a yes. That response gave me a huge confidence boost and I went full swing into planning the summit.

Moving ahead with the conference completely changed my business and personal trajectory. We have hosted conferences every year since, we have partnered with fortune 500 corporations and found success with it.

What will have happened if I allowed my inner critic to talk me out of it? Nothing, apart from wishful thinking…

I often like to say this, take the first step, confidence comes with every step. In each of us are two voices, we have our inner critic and we have our empowering voice. They both have an opinion on what we want to do, our decision on every important step depends on who we listen to.

If you are wondering which of these two voices gets louder over time, it depends on the one you feed.

If you repeatedly give in to your fears and the voice of your inner critic, the voice gets louder and bolder.

However, if you consistently repeat empowering words to yourself and step out in confidence even though you feel the fear, you get bolder over time.

Every success gives you a confidence boost needed to take the next step. This is a practical step to moving past limiting beliefs and stereotypes that may have held you back.

Believe in yourself sticky notes

Believe: Your Words Can Shape Your Outcomes

“If you believe you can or you believe you can’t you are right- Henry Ford

 

I worked for  a very distinguished and successful scientist several years ago.

I still remember the first day I interviewed with him, the interview went very well.

After we were done, he said “I will really like to hire you but I am a little worried that a major grant that I am working on may be declined”.

I have successfully renewed this grant every four years for the past 20 years but I think I will not make it this time. I think my application will be declined and I will have to reapply the following year”.

 I have heard  how accomplished this person is and working with him will simply be a dream come true. So, I asked, what will happen if this deal was unsuccessful, will you have to shut down your laboratory?” 

He laughed, and said no.

He explained that he had the resources to keep things running for a few more years but he will have to cut back on hiring.

I was slightly concerned, so I discussed with a mentor who also knew this person very well. My mentor explained to me how exceptional this person is and how close to impossible it was for his grant not to be approved. She encouraged me to work with him, since I still had funding that covered me for two years, I really didn’t have much to worry about now. She said even if he was not successful in his financial pursuits I will have had some of the best training opportunities  of my professional career. So I did

 The interesting thing to me was that things played out almost exactly like my boss predicted. The grant application he referred to was not successful, he reapplied the following year and that was unsuccessful as well.

Over a two year period after the interview discussion, I watched everything play out exactly as he described.

Then it dawned on me how powerful the words we speak and believe is.

The word we speak is powerful and shapes our outcomes.

It is important to pay attention to what we are saying because if you say it long enough, you will start believing it and eventually experience it.

It does not matter how accomplished you are or how successful you have been , you can change the course of your life positively or negatively by changing what you believe

Every single one of us have in us an unstoppable force to create the life we want the future we desire . 

What do you believe about your life, health or your goals.

You can easily know what you or the people in your life believe by listening to the words that comes out of their mouths.

Remember if you do not want to experience it don’t say it.

 

Quick question: How have you see the power of words shape your outcomes? Share with me in the comment below.

My Secret For Winning Each Day

Picture of agenda

Can you imagine an Olympic level athlete jumping into the field to start competing without a warm-up? Most of us have watched top-notched athletes win over and over again. They have specific processes that help them perform at the highest level.

I realize that in life as well, there are routines, habits and strategies for performing at your best.  That is what this article is about,  sharing some of “secrets” for winning each day.

I wish I could say these are secrets I sat down and drafted up. No they are routines I developed over time.  Making incremental changes to my daily routine gradually over time.

One day my mum who had just spent some time visiting with us returned to London. As my brother picked her from the airport she said that he should call me to let me know she has arrived safely. My brother said it is a bit too early to call on my end. She replied ” She will be up and running on her treadmill”. My brother called and I was up and running on my treadmill. I realize that my morning routine has shaped my life in many ways, enhanced my productivity and helped me exceed my expectations.

If you have ever wondered how do you build a life you have always dreamt of? It starts by taking charge of your day. Success each day leads to success each month, each year and to a successful life. These are my top secrets:

  1. Start Your Day Strong With Self-care: Thinking about factors that shapes my day, I realized that my morning routine plays a significant role in setting the tone for the day. Wondering how and why? It’s simple, I spend time praying each morning. I think of it as it as replenishing myself spiritually and connecting myself to my northern star for direction and guidance. As a person of faith, that is a crucial part of my day. I realize that each day, there are activities that deplete us emotionally, there are activities that recharge/refuel us. Praying is one of those activities that refuels me. Think about it, what works for you? How do you recharge?  Another routine that I have found to be very important in setting the tone for the day is running and strength exercises. Each morning I  run 3 mile  After these runs I feel energized, my mind alert and I feel ready to take on the day. During the run, I  listen to inspiring speakers.  I can summarize my morning routine by saying that I start my day taking care of myself spirit, soul and body.
  2. Express Gratitude: Often times I hear people say I will be thankful when everything is alright. The truth is there is so much working now that your eyes will be open to see when you start expressing gratitude. Gratitude for me resets my mind and elevates my expectation for more. It is often said ” When you are grateful, you attract more to be thankful for” I could not agree more. In my daily planner I have a column for notes which I converted to my gratitude journal. Every time I see that column, I know I have to fill my gratitude in.
  3. Plan The Day Realistically: It is important to plan the day. However, been realistic about the plans for each time block is also important to ensure you are not putting too  much into the day. I know this way key for me because for many years, I will feel bad for not getting to complete all the 15 tasks I have on my agenda for the day. Then I realized I was not planning well, I had to carefully review the time it takes for me to complete a task, and use that to properly allocate tasks to be completed each day.
Julia Olayanju

Believe : Take The Limits Off

When I was a little girl, I believed I could accomplish anything.

I believed I could become whoever I want to become!

You know why?

I was surrounded by people who believed in me and affirmed me.

My mum was fond of saying “Be bold, never be afraid to knock on any door of opportunity”

She did not just tell me this things, she modeled it right before my eyes.

This mindset stayed with me and shaped the person I am today.

Growing up I just believed everyone was like that as well

Recently I have noticed how  so many people place limits on their lives.

They say things like, “…people in my family do not do that well, how can I be different”

or ” …I wished I was raised in a different neighborhood, my life would have been very different”.

I am aware that not everyone grew up with parents that believe in them and speak affirming word over them.

I am also aware that as we experience life and circumstances that introduce self doubt.

What do you do if you are in a place where you are losing faith in yourself and your abilities to accomplish your goals?

In this article,  I share 3 important steps you can take to reset your mind and re-energize yourself to accomplish more.

  1. Change What You Are Focused On:  Have you ever listened to a motivational speaker that left you energized and fired up, you leave believing you are ready to tackle any problem? That is the power of words. Words can energize us, words can demoralize us. Words that we allow to take root in our heart can have similar effects as well.  Just like words, experiences we have also have the same effect on us.  If you think carefully about it, it all about what goes into your mind. You mind is fed through your 5 physical senses.  When undesirable words or experiences are allowed to dominate our thoughts and mind, the outcomes we experience is not desirable. It is important to guard your mind. If you feel overwhelmed and believe you can’t , it may be a sign that its time to change what the thoughts that are dominating your mind. If there is no limit in your mind, there is no limit in your life. Fill your mind with inspiring and uplifting words, ponder on your wins and steps that got you there. You can create change you desire but you need to take steps to make it happen.
  2. Re-evaluate Your Network: People around you influence your life significantly especially with their words. Who do you have around you? What influences are they having on you? What impact are their words having on you? Carefully think through this and make changes as need. Think about it this way, if you have a rotten food in your fridge that produces an offensive odor.  Cleaning the fridge without removing the rotten food will not help, using a deodorizer will only help temporarily but the smell will still come back stronger. The same thing with mindset, if you are working hard to build your mindset but you have a toxic relationship that is demoralizing to you. Full progress will not be achieved until you deal with the source of the problem.
  3. Make Motivation A Daily Progress: Just the same way we eat everyday, brush our teeth everyday. There are some routines that would be beneficial to developing an enabling mindset, and that is creating a routine of reading/listening to inspiring and uplifting material daily. It could be a podcast, a motivational teaching, your favorite preacher or an uplifting book. This is an habit I developed more than 15 years ago that completely changed my life and do not plan to stop.

I hope this few tips resonate with you. Share with me in the comment below, some of the strategies you may have found very useful for powerful mindset shifts. I look forward to reading from you.

Cheering you on!